looking back

Hindsight is 20/20 and there are a million things I wish I'd known. These are a few of them...

That kid being a brat in the middle of the supermarket isn't necessarily a brat.
The mother dragging the kid out of the store kicking & screaming isn't necessarily a bad parent.

Meltdowns are serious, autistic children will self injure, scream, go completely dead weight or do numerous other things that are dangerous. When your child starts slamming their head into something repeatedly and they don't understand the concept of pain or the word "stop", you sometimes have to resort to physically removing them from the situation and it's never pretty. Not only are you terrified your child is going to permanently damage themselves you are being judged by strangers.


I wish I'd known about teaching babies sign language.
I feel like if I'd taught him ASL before he regressed he probably would have been able to better communicate his needs.

I wish I'd known about the diagnosis of PDD-NOS and how large the spectrum is.
I had looked into autism but Alden never seemed to "fit" all those things, he was cuddly, used facial expression, was empathetic, he wasn't sitting around staring out the window, he loved to play. Once we got the diagnosis I was sad because I felt like I'd let him down, I didn't want to have him tested because I didn't think he WAS on the spectrum. I will carry that with me the rest of my life.

I wish I'd trusted my instincts about certain vaccines.
I remember the day he got the MMR, I asked the doctor if that was 'the autism shot' and she told me that was complete crap & that there was no medical evidence supporting that theory. I also questioned the Chicken Pox shot I mean come on, chicken pox sucks but it's totally a right of passage of childhood. They told me he HAD to have it or he couldn't go to school. So again I relented and let them inject him full of toxins.

I also wish I'd known the rhogam shot I received when pregnant had thimerosal in it.

***Side Note*** I do not think vaccines are solely responsible for Alden's autism, I think he had a pre-existing genetic vulnerability, and was exposed to toxins in the environment that made him vulnerable and the three of them together caused his specific case. I don't think we should eradicate vaccines but I do think they should take all the toxic chemicals out of them and only vaccinate for things that are serious. I AM NOT ANTI-VACCINE I am anti-toxin. I also wish doctors would tell parents you can spread the vaccines out instead of just giving the cocktails of vaccines.