- The "I am SO sorry." person.
I AM SO SORRY that your child is different! Really? Because I'm not. I wish he didn't struggle with socialization but I bet you wish your kid didn't struggle in math, or sports, or whatever they don't excel at. I don't really see his autism as a handicap. He's healthy, he's happy, and he's probably smarter than you and I could ever hope to be. I worry about him like the mother of a neurotypical (that's "normal" for you laymen) child worries about her kid, no more, no less.
- The "He has autism? I couldn't even tell!!!" person.
- First off thank you, he has worked his ass off to get to that point!
You couldn't even tell? Well how about that! I am NOT going to act like Alden hasn't progressed to the point where his diagnosis could be in danger if they change the Diagnostic Criteria, he has. He's excelling like crazy in all areas right now and he's getting close to being caught up with his neurotypical peers.
Here is reason #1 that this bothers me. You can't tell because you don't know what to look for. He doesn't wear a sign that says "I HAVE PDD-NOS!" He does however flap his arms, not respond to YOUR questions until *I* repeat them to him, and he doesn't make eye contact. You don't know he has autism because you don't know what to look for.
Reason #2 this bothers me is because when Alden was a lot lower functioning when he was younger not ONE person who didn't know his diagnosis EVER said "Oh, does he have autism?" or "I understand what you are going through". They said "Can't you control your kid?' , "What is his problem?", or "Nothing a spanking wouldn't fix". This was back when you assume that you would have been able to tell, but there's a 98% chance unless you KNOW what to look for that you would have thought he was just another bratty kid.
I'm not BLAMING these people, I'm saying it bothers me. People DON'T know what to look for. They think of Rainman, they think of kids staring into space not even in contact with this world. They don't understand what autism is because they don't deal with it. They "have a cousin who's little boy has it too" and that is the extent of their knowledge.
- The "what medication is he on" people.
To me, these are the worst. Not only are they assuming that he's medicated because he's acting "normal" but they also assume that I'm like the hoards of others who drug their kids into oblivion to get them to sit down and shut up. I'm not. I'm not saying that he will never need medication, I am not saying that people who medicate their children are evil, and I'm not saying that some people don't need to be medicated. I'm disgusted that we live in a nation where the first thing people assume is that "we throw pills at it to make it go away".
As I said before I don't blame these people, they just don't get it. Part of the problem is that people are uneducated about autism. Something needs to fix that.
When you find out my child has autism ask me questions about it. How old was he when we found out? What is he doing right now that would tip a person who is familiar with it off? Educate yourself, don't feel sorry for us. We are fine, we are happy, and we don't know any different.
